feeling uneasy

I'm finally back here as i have lots to express & i guess this would be a good place for me, as compared to facebook, where i don't need unnecessary attention . . . . . .

The month of July has its happiness and as well as the other side, when it makes me feel like going through roller coaster, with highs & lows, I kinda feel tired with it , I can't afford to suffer these more. Job application for me has somehow been like a rock in front of me, after that a very rough river for me to cross over it, later a big beast in front of me........... TIRED

As I always think the god is fair, thank you so much for being so kind to me for the past 20 years, my life have been going on smoothly without much obstacles, my route being planned too nicely, so even if god were to throw me some difficulties now & then, i would accept it as opportunity to train to be a better ME !!

Advice to KI WEN :

Its easy to give in to fears, but even if you are blinded by your pain, can't see your way through the rain, still a small but resilient voice says hope is very near. Dare for what's waiting for you in future, do not give up so easily KIWEN, believe in yourself !!

sOOoooo TRUE !

Harmony-seeking Idealist

Harmony-seeking Idealists are characterised by a complex personality and an abundance of thoughts and feelings. They are warm-hearted persons by nature. They are sympathetic and understanding. Harmony-seeking Idealists expect a lot of themselves and of others. They have a strong understanding of human nature and are often very good judges of character. But they are mostly reserved and confide their thoughts and feelings to very few people they trust. They are deeply hurt by rejection or criticism. Harmony-seeking Idealists find conflict situations unpleasant and prefer harmonious relationships. However, if reaching a certain target is very important to them they can assert themselves with a doggedness bordering on obstinacy.

Harmony-seeking Idealists have a lively fantasy, often an almost clairvoyant intuition and are often very creative. Once they have tackled a project, they do everything in their power to achieve their goals. In everyday life, they often prove to be excellent problem solvers. They like to get to the root of things and have a natural curiosity and a thirst for knowledge. At the same time, they are practically oriented, well organised and in a position to tackle complex situations in a structured and carefully considered manner. When they concentrate on something, they do so one hundred percent - they often become so immersed in a task that they forget everything else around them. That is the secret of their often very large professional success.

Relationship part

As partners, harmony-seeking idealists are loyal and reliable; a permanent relationship is very important to them. They seldom fall in love head over heels nor do they like quick affairs. They sometimes find it very difficult to clearly show their affection although their feelings are deep and sincere. In as far as their circle of friends is concerned, their motto is: less is more! As far as new contacts are concerned, they are approachable to only a limited extent; they prefer to put their energy into just a few, close friendships. Their demands on friends and partners are very high. As they do not like conflicts, they hesitate for some time before raising unsatisfactory issues and, when they do, they make every effort not to hurt anyone as a result.

Even if you can fall head over heels in love - like all Idealists - all in all you are still the reserved personality type. With you it takes a relatively long time until your counterpart has figured out that you have developed a romantic interest in him/her. You only show your feelings when you are very sure of yourself and the prospects for the relationship. In matters of love the word “flighty” is not a part of your dictionary. You incredulously notice affairs of others and can’t imagine how anyone can play that furiously with their own and the feelings of others. You are a very consistent and faithful person and you are looking for a partner like that - sometimes it takes a very long time.

When you are too reserved and hesitate too long before you really trust someone to open up to him/her, you make it very difficult for potential prospects. There is no question that your personality is one of the most complex and complicated types around. So it is no wonder that less complicated types sometimes become demoralized and give up before your flirtation has gained momentum.

Once you have committed yourself to a partner, it is for life. There is no going back. Since a relationship is that important to you, one of your most important goals in life is to keep the given promise. Your obligation is sacred and you expect your partner to feel the same way. Because it was difficult for you to trust, you have a real problem forgiving a betrayal of confidence like an affair as well as other behaviors that you see as treachery. All your aspirations are focused to form emotional oneness with your partner and to merge with him/her as much as is humanly possible. If your partner feels as you do and opens him/herself up to you, it can form the basis for a close and exclusive relationship. You run the risk of disappointment and hurt though, if you give your love to someone who wants no part of this intimacy. For you, it is either all or nothing.

try this: http://www.ipersonic.com/test.html

On the side of me

On the side of me - Corrinne May

(lyrics means a lot....love it so much)

I'm not the easiest person to love
I'm often the one who lets things go unresolved

Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me

I'm not too proud of some things
I've done in my life
The skeletons in my closet
Are too big for me to hide

Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
Blessed Charity
You're on the side of me
on the side of me

'Cause everyone needs a friend to hold
when it's cold outside
and there's no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go

I remember when nobody cared
but you

I'm not the easiest person to love
But you, you've opened your heart to show me what I'm worth

'Cause you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
What a mystery
You're on the side of me
on the side of me

'Cause everyone needs a friend to hold
when it's cold outside
and there's no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go

I remember when nobody cared
I remember when nobody cared
Nobody cared
But you

Yeah you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me

误会

最讨厌被误会了

但越解释越觉得难过

growing.

there was one day, when i started to notice myself....staring on that same old page... and my sight has shifted onto both my hands. i slowly find out that i am no longer young or should i say not kiddo anymore, and look up further... both my eyes... that's a sign of ageing, but i prefer to say "growing". CHANGES has surround me all times and my friends, family, taking a look on the photos we'd took.

today, after having fetch mum to mon't kiara club and after studying for some time, i drive along slowly, without any destination in mind, and surprisingly that was actually a not bad idea to take a breath from our ever busy lifestyle. looking at the green grasses land, and there were birds chipping, and clouds covering the blue sky....

also, i'd always been pop into the time with similar numbers, 09:09, 21:21, 16:16, 23:23, everyday i will at least see these 4-5 times, wondering does this happen to everyone??

and this place 'PALM VILLE' keeps appearing in my dream, the funny thing is that i always see the big sign board with these words 'PALM VILLE' on it, what does it signal?? a bit curious... but here are some photos took when i got up the condo just opposite of klcc, i like the klcc view but not to such close extent, any view from you guys??

i enjoy the silence . . . . .

what a nice place to be .... sitting down with dear angela..... chatting from 12 - 5pm, those days how we used to be and now looking at changes we have gone through within these years, it just look so special to me.

and not to forget to recommend to all guys and gals that pizzas here were fabulous, certainly far more better than pizza hut or other italian restaurants. not only that, prices were cheap, we ordered two regular pizzas at only RM31.90 .... and the environment was too nice, really a nice place for chit chats...

lastly, hoping everyone enjoy their current life and not to do something just for the sake of completing it. and i have found mine . . . to work towards my goal from now on.

haywire

my life has gone H.A.Y.W.I.R.E . . . . . not in timing wise, but in terms of goals in life and also commitment and passion. i don't really know what i wish to achieve in life now, no plan, no passion, no determination on anything. laziness has been always surrounding me and i hate myself a lot being stuck in this situation. really feel like punching myself ....

and today i came across a book, saw this ' the quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of chosen field of endeavour. ' >>> a total reflect on myself , sigh :(

i always feel myself being packed up with loads of things, yet not completing any... the only moment i don't feel such when im with my lovely friends, where spending time with them seems to be precious one. today, i have got that warm feeling though bro has gone to melaka, where dad took out his guitar, was playing sentimental songs, which were too lovely and meaningful to me, and mum & I sing along ... so nice!

thanks a lot to sam for the encouragement, told me " if you think you can win, you can! Faith is necessary to victory" .... " to make it to the top, you've got to want it with all your heart"