ears... i need

feels like all these while i've been keeping my problems and feelings to myself, containing them in my self-assumed-almighty-heart.

but at the end of the day,i just feel so puny and heartbroken.i need a place where i can pour my feelings all out without fear and embarassment, somewhere my tears can flow freely and knowing a cushion will be there when i fall.

mistakes and obstacles in my life up til now has yet to awaken me from my failure self.why wouldn't i speak out? i thought it would be the better for everyone. but it was a huge mistake, an error not worth making, a fault to regret. until now, i've been containing those thoughts and feelings within myself, holding them back. i have failed to express them, didn't take those chances, i could've been a happier person.

i think it's making my life miserable, these feelings i'm hiding are. one day...one day i'll be there.somehow i think that i've kept them for too long they're all screwed up; my mind says i'm feeling alright, but my heart says i'm not fine; my heart says go for it, my mind says no, not yet.

desicions. decisions. decisions. one word that i fail to engrave in my pathetic brain. can't decide what to do and only regretting later thinking bout it. can i just take all 3 papers for next sem. i just can't wait to finish it. i don't think i can take it.what will only be the right one? even if i decided on what to do, my choices makes me wanna stab myself in the end. urgh.i feel so lost right now. i wanna cry studying professions.but actually its still alright i guess...

p/s: don't ask me about things i've mention here, i just need a place to pour out my feelings...