e...m..o...

today in a sudden... a gush of emotion flow through my soul, that i couldn't really understand.... emo emo again, i don't really want to talk, and i hope they will understand. Sometimes when im deep inside of me, don't be too concern, just allow me to stay alone and it'll then be alright...

i apologize if it makes you feel emo, seeing me so tense, with no self confidence.

such a bored feeling im having now..... suppose to be attending P2 class but since its cancelled.. so i insist coming college at 8am.... ending up in library now..... such a bored life im having now.... BORED... is that an illusion?? can i ever see the truth ???

do you?

do you remember me, when i sat upon your knee?

do you understand me?

but at all times you are hurting me..

i hold all my hope on you with childhood fantasy, 

and well im grown up now, 

but ...

i still need help somehow.

i'm not a child anymore but my heart still can dream

so here's my lifelong wish...

not for myself but for you and me...

that everyone will have a friend & love will never end.

well only heaven knows that 

time will heal our soul.

p/s: be strong

can i ??

i've learn to become much independent these days.... done everything by myself, not needed others to accompany me.....and at the same time ..I seldom talk to friends and always keeping quiet aside when the whole bunch of friends of mine were so busy talking & laughing along the way. Is this actually a good sign?? ..for me now in core level..... 

and i hate myself so much... how can i not oversleep ?? since time will not stand still and keeps ticking every seconds...

now i realise that "time" can i hold you please...

You are constantly running,

regardless of any circumstances,

without mercy,

without any sense of consideration.

You're fixed,

I know you are,

and you have not a tinge of emotion.

You do not stop,

for even the most minute fraction,

you just keep on going,

mercilessly transforming what's done into history.

You never seem to be out of breath,

and it takes godlike stamina,

just to keep in pace with you.

Can I hold your hand,

as I really want to walk,

side by side with you,

Time.

sometimes i'll question myself, " do i really enjoy what im doing right now?" .. that now the abiguity of my future is becoming clearer. How should i progress from here?? 

life is a paradox that's always left unexplained.....

now...

now only i notice that life has its occasional letdowns and not everyone is worth their word.

today its my first time attending P3 lecture without siao wah... :(

As expected, it was so bored without her accompany me. So the only way to get rid of this boredom is to concentrate .. haha. I managed to but only for a few hours.... then fell asleep (during lecture) till my handphone fell off the table without me noticing it untill the guy sitting in front pick it up.... aiks first time sleeping in class xD

i guess because we were too used to sitting with each other, her absence really make a difference to me, just like "can't live without her"...haha ^^( hoping that she won't be reading this...). but i really hope to attend every lecture with her but i know it'll not happen.. (how i wish..)

and decisions agains... its pretty a difficult one for me...

this post is a continuation of the previous one.... once again THANK YOU to all my fellow friends & you* 

thanks a lot to all the wishes .... in fact its pretty lucky to have friends... and im especially thankful to having friends who remember about my birthday...

this year's birthday have been bringing more surprises to me.... starting:

1. surprise party organized by siao wah... was totally out of my expectation.. thank you so much for making the effort to buying the white chocolate cake...was so touched at one moment & wanted to hug siao wah but didn't get the chance to... again celebrated with my college mates.. ^^

2. receiving wishes by sms & calls.... thank you so much... and must mention about this that jun yi thanks you so much although you are at indonesia... still remember me.. was another surprise & loving one

3. receiving sms from samantha, michelle, yee wei from UK !! this was the first time getting birthday wishes from UK... thanks a lot for even counting the time difference of 7 hours...so loving of you all... muacks... 

4. had bit of dissapointment of when some of my highschool mates have forgotten to wish me at 6/2/09 itself but was surprised me was receiving birthday cards & presents at the next day... especially sit joanne... ahaha... sit sit.. you was so funny on that day....but jing yi i want linda chung's album (why out of stock?? grr..)

5. thanks to clement for your present !! ( if you are reading this... thank you so much for making the effort to find the wrapping paper that matches so well with it!! ... also thanks for the card.. appreciate it a lot..)

6. thank you to siao wah... im really lucky to have you as my friend.. thanks for the card.. the card means a lot to me.. that i'll keep it properly... what is in the deep of my heart is just more than words..... a million times thank you will never be enough .... thank you so much...

7. thank you jennifer, maple, sook voon, susan, lam yew, mint tzet, kah jun, paul, boon heng, chuen jein, chit yuen, shu yi, korine, yit tze, etc..

(photos will be post later )

just want to say

just want to say ....

Happy 19 th Birthday 

to myself !

thank you so much to all of you who had made the effort to wish me and 

especially a BIG big thank you to siao wah!!! wanted to give her a hug that day but didn't get the chance to..... ( but can a hug you another day???)

i have a lot more to say... but i don't have the time now ...had to prepare myself for test... 

TO BE CONTINUE...

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL GALS & GUYS. take care...

p/s: wish to have linda's album as present but since they said its out of stock ... there it goes ( bit of dissapointment)